Forgiveness and Reconciliation

Forgiveness can be an integral part in conflict resolution and even a strong factor in psychological and physical health. Some philosophers state that forgiveness is a gift to the person doing the forgiving, not necessarily for the forgiven.

Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Yes, I do believe that statement, and according to Managing Conflict Through Communication, Forgiveness is a cognitive process that consists of letting go of feelings of revenge and desires to retaliate. Reconciliation is a behavioral process in which we take actions to restore a relationship or create a new one following forgiveness. The evidence indicates that forgiveness is an important mental process that should follow traumatic conflict. Reconciliation, on the other hand, involves a series of actions we may choose to avoid, particularly if the offender is likely to violate us again (p.232). “We do not forgive to become martyrs to the relationship. We forgive because it is better for us, and better for the other person (p.233). Most writers in the area of forgiveness have argued that holding onto grief and hurt is psychologically unhealthy (p.235). By placing blame on other people, we relinquish our control over our emotions and give that control to another. A lack of forgiveness accompanied by resentment and bitterness is a stress factor leading to burnout. Linn and Linn argued that “forgiveness is at least as important a discovery for treating emotional illness as penicillin is for treating physical illness (p.236).

Should forgiveness and reconciliation be the ultimate goal for all conflict resolution?

Yes, I believe it should be. Reconciliation is a behavior process in which we take actions to restore a relationship or create a new one (p.245). Even if it is for instance a divorce, well we know that the couple is not going to ride off in the sunset, but one would hope that the divorce will end amicably, especially if there are children involved Of all the skills in conflict, we must learn how to put a conflict into perspective and move forward, otherwise our relationships become unstable; without forgiveness, our relationships eventually come to an end (p.246). Any conflict I have whether it is minor or major, I want resolution, otherwise it wares me down mentally, and stress will age a woman quicker than anything else, so yes resolve it!

Reference:
Cahn, D. D., & Abigail, R. A. (2007). Managing Conflict Through Communication (Third ed.). Boston, MA: Pearson Education, Inc.